The Reality of Negative Comments

While it may sound cliché, those mean or hurtful words directed at you are most likely not truly about you. Here are a few reasons why people may be coming at you with negativity.

They may be struggling. Relational aggression is often a symptom of emotional struggles, and hurtful comments may simply be a way of releasing pent-up emotions.

Envy can cause unhealthy social comparisons. When we see someone else whose life seems better than ours or who has things we want, it can result in anger toward that person.

There’s a “power” in anonymity. Social media allows people to be anonymous, giving them the freedom to lash out at others or project their frustrations in ways they probably wouldn’t IRL.

Understanding the psychology behind negative comments doesn’t make them okay or take away their sting, but reminding ourselves not to take them personally is a powerful practice.

4 Tips for Not Reacting

Deciding whether and how to respond to negative comments or messages is both a business and personal decision. Here are three ways to find some calm and balance before responding.

Breathe. When our stress or anxiety spikes after reading something negative or hurtful, we tend to make it worse by holding our breath or taking shallow breaths. Start by taking a deep breath or two.

Try 4-7-8 breathing. Close your eyes and inhale through your nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, and slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 8.

Move. Stepping away from our computer or phone and taking a short walk helps to move us both physically and psychologically away from stressors like negative comments.

Focus on the positive. Negative comments often occupy more headspace than positive ones. Counteract this by revisiting positive comments or thinking about the positive impact you’re making.

Learn more about dealing with stressors like negativity online or learn more about cyberbullying and how to cope.

6 Ways to Conquer Comparison

Curate your feed intentionally. Be mindful of who you follow. Unfollow accounts that trigger negative feelings of comparison and instead follow those that inspire and uplift you.

Engage in a positive way. Leave positive comments and like posts that interest you.

Cultivate self-appreciation. Focus on your own unique strengths, talents, and achievements. Practicing gratitude and self-acceptance can counteract the urge to compare yourself to others.

Recognize edited realities. Remember that social media often portrays idealized versions of life. Avoid comparing yourself to unrealistic standards.

Tips for Coping With Uncertainty

As content creators, we face uncertainties such as fluctuating engagement, relevance, and concerns about controversy or cancellation amid a changing social media landscape. Here are tips for navigating these uncertainties.